If Only I Were Poly…

This last summer D took me to breakfast. We both had something we wanted to share with the other. I was nervous to tell him my thing, since the last time something along the same lines came about he was bummed about.

He picked me up that morning and we went to a little diner. After we ordered, he asked for my news first. I told him about the “new relationship” I was in. We had only been seeing each other a few days, but I was liking him. I was shocked when D said he was happy for me. When I asked what the difference was from a few weeks ago when I “fell” into a relationship, he said because this sounded like something I wanted, plus he heard it from me instead of facebook.

I asked what his news was. He told me he was polyamorous and in a poly relationship with an ex of his (who was with a couple). He said he had been for years, but was just now being open about it. He said that ideally, he would prefer to have one main relationship and as a couple have other partners. I told him good luck. I didn’t really know what else I could say. I then told him I was glad he felt comfortable telling me, and he said it was important to tell me since we have sex on occasion (when I am single).

On the way home, I told him that him being poly made since, being as how he has always had multiple partners. I added that it made sense why we never became an item, since I am very much monogamous. He said it wasn’t just that, but he always felt like I wouldn’t be happy with him. I told him I understand.

A few weeks later we talked again about him being poly. I told him that I wished I was, since I really needed to see someone that wasn’t the guy I was dating. J was texting me at the time as well, and I told D all about J. I said it would be so much easier if I was poly, then I could see both guys. Who knows, maybe I could get that relationship with D I have always wanted.

If I was poly, and my partners were aware, I could see one when the other wasn’t available. I don’t think I would have to worry about not getting enough sex. I love the idea of having multiple loves. I just can’t get past the idea of them having other partners. I get too jealous. Someday, I hope that will all change.

Posted in dates, exes, friends, growth, guys, life, Love, thoughts | Leave a comment

Receiving Oral and My Experiences

The other day, one of my favorite bloggers posted on Twitter, asking about how men feel about giving cunnilingus, how they feel about women who are with men that don’t enjoy giving it, and the experiences of women who don’t enjoy receiving oral. I started to reply, but then realized that there is more to the answer than I can put in just 140 characters. I decided to make it a post.

First off, when I first started my sexual career, I was embarrassed about the idea of receiving oral. I was so worried about the smell and taste of my juices. It took a lot of coaxing from Ex #4 before I let him return the favor. It felt nice, but it really didn’t do much. The Ex loved it though, so I let him.

When Toby and I were messing around I asked him to give back once. He came up with a bullshit answer, saying that you should only do that if you are in love with a woman. I was hurt, but didn’t care too much, since it never did much anyways. I just wanted the favor returned.

Soon after stopping things with Toby, Will and I got together. He informed me that he just wasn’t into that kind of thing. It brought back memories of Toby telling me no and his reason why, and I associated Toby’s reason with Will’s. I was crushed.

Fast forward three years and you have the last boyfriend and I. He claimed that “eating pussy” was one of his most favorite things ever. He tried once, when I wasn’t quite ready (not shaved), found a hair and stopped completely. He hadn’t even really started. He said he would try another time when I was better groomed. I felt ashamed of myself, my body. A few weeks later and we decided to try again. I was fresh out of the shower (something I make sue to do before anyone goes down there), shaved, and ready to go.

Somehow he ended up getting into a very awkward position. His tongue had barely touched my slit when he pulled back and said that I tasted funny. My heart sank. My worst fear had just come true when it came to the bedroom. He went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and I slid a finger inside of me, letting my finger soak up my juices. I put my fingers to my mouth and prepared for the worst. I licked hesitantly. I tasted fine. Normal, in fact, kind of sweet. I was very upset.

When he came back, I told him that I tasted myself. He scrunched up his face in disgust and I said I tasted fine. He never tried to go down on me again, but I didn’t want him to. He did a number on me, this is one of them. I still feel extremely embarrassed of myself, very selfconscious. I haven’t had anyone try again since that unfortunate experience, but then again my partners have been limited. I find that ok with me, since it never really did anything more than just feel nice.

Posted in embarrassing moments, exes, growth, guys, life, oral, thoughts | 4 Comments

TMI Tuesday – TMI and Conan

In the U.S.A. there is a late-night talk show hosted by comedian/writer Conan O’Brien.

I had not seen Conan O’Brien show for several years. Recently, I decided to watch it and I heard these questions for TMI Tuesday.

TMI & Conan O’Brien

1. One thing I will never comprehend is ____ .

How can some humans be so inhumane.

2. My blood type is ____ .


3. I am pretty healthy for ____ .

Being overweight.

4. When I really cannot sleep I ____ .

Masturbate. Having an orgasm makes me relax enough to pass out.

5. You never forget your ____ .

First kiss. First love. Anything first, really.

6. As a child my favorite pet was ____ .

The cat, and they still are my favorite to this day.

Bonus: This week’s question comes from The Late Phoenix – “Why was fuck chosen as the ultimate swear word? It coulda easily been duck.”

Fuck is the most versatile word around! It can be a noun or a verb. However, typing this, I see how duck can be used in the same ways. I have no fucking clue, now!

Posted in TMI Tuesday | 3 Comments

Last Spring

Last year I met a guy on a dating site. I thought he was adorable, and we had tons in common (as it usually goes with me). We did a lot of chatting on Skype, some texting. He was a really nice guy. The only problem was that he lived several hours away in another state.

In the end of April/beginning of May I had a long weekend, due to a switch in my schedule. I took it as a chance to go and meet the guy. I was unsure at the time of getting a hotel room or staying with him, so I played it by ear.

I woke up early that morning, had breakfast with the roommate and my mom across the street. After breakfast I headed home, tossed my overnight bag in my car, gassed up, and hit the road. It was a nice drive, especially through the redwoods, and it only took 2 hours or so.

I texted him when I was about half an hour away and we planned to meet at the Dairy Queen. I ordered a Blizzard and he ordered a burger. We made small talk, both very nervous. After we were done eating we left and he directed me to his house.

At his house, I met his parents and best friend. I got the grand tour, mostly his room and computer room, the kitchen, and bathrooms. We stepped out onto the back porch, and the view was amazing.

Not long after the tour it was time to go. We were expected at a Dungeons and Dragons game at some other friend’s of his. He told me where to go and We got there I got another tour. They were a very nice husband and wife couple. They were total gamers, as well as his wife being very artsy.

We had burgers for dinner, they played D&D while I mostly watched. After the game we sat in the living room and chatted. It was getting late, so we made our leave. It was pitch black so he gave me directions back to his place.

We went to his room and I asked to use the bathroom for a shower. I was quick in the shower, and returned to him in his room. We cuddled for a bit, talked. I was exhausted from the drive. We tried watching a movie, but the cable went out.

When we were cuddling, he kissed me. I wasn’t ready, so I didn’t really get into it. He started thrusting his hips towards me, his erection obvious. I told him it was too soon, we had just meant, and I was exhausted. He said he understood, but he kept doing it. I finally gave in and rubbed his dick for a bit.

I wasn’t in the mood, in fact, I was a little annoyed. I announced my exhaustion again, and he seemed to be satisfied. Thinking about it, if I wasn’t so tired, I would have loved to suck his cock.

I slept like crap that night. I tossed and turned. Every time I started to doze, I woke up. I couldn’t wait til it was morning. When morning came, we went to breakfast in a little hole in the wall place a few blocks away. Afterwards, we got back to his place and hung out in his computer room.

After a while, I knew I should get going. I had fun, but I was exhausted and work changed the schedule the day before I left, turning my five days off into three days off. We hugged goodbye, he stole a kiss, and walked me to my car.

It was a nice drive home, and when I finally did get home I took a nap. We still talk every once in a while, but when I made it clear that I wasn’t interested in a relationship, he moved on. I think about him and his friends often. I would love to go back up there to visit, but I am unsure of how awkward that would be.

Posted in dates, friends, growth, guys, life | 5 Comments

Sinful Sunday – Painting the Pink

The prompt is was abstract. I thought the prompt was all month long, not just last week. Oh well, here it is! I went through my naughty pics and found a picture I took for J when I was out of town for work. The first one is the abstract fun I had with an old iPad app I had. Click for the original. I think I painted my pink well. What do you think?


Sinful Sunday

Posted in pics, Sinful Sunday | 16 Comments

My new toys…

My new toys are fucking scary. They were bigger than I expected. If you haven’t been following my Twitter, I ordered the Tantus Cush and Flurry. I was so excited for them that I even held off on masturbating several nights in a row.

When I got home Thursday the package was on my bed. I tore it open, and my mouth dropped. How the hell am I going to put them inside me, especially the Cush. They will ruin me, especially if I end up using them a lot.

That night after my shower I got in bed and tried to insert the Flurry. It wasn’t happening. I just couldn’t get it in, and wetness wasn’t a problem. I finally shifted enough and was able to slide it part way in. It felt tight, and full, but not in a good way. It was almost uncomfortable.

I put my bullet on my clit and went to town, relaxing and getting wetter with each tiny circle. The Flurry was distracting, so I pulled it out and set it aside. Within minutes I came hard and fast, squirting too.

I figured I would wait a few minutes and then try for a round two, thinking that maybe I need more warmup and that the orgasm should help. Unfortunately, I passed out. Maybe next time. I am determined to be able to use that Cush.

Posted in dildos, horny, life, masturbation, SheVibe, Tantus, thoughts, toys | 3 Comments

Alcohol and How I Do

I have a high tolerance for alcohol. It takes a lot to get me buzzed, and when that happens I am on a fast track to being drunk. It definitely helps that my roommate makes amazing mixed drinks.

A few months ago we had a girl’s night. A coworker had her guy friend drive us to a strip of local bars and be our designated driver. I got excited every time I hear his huge pickup purr. It was so sexy.

Anyways, before leaving, us girls (roommate, coworker, and I) all had a glass of wine and a shot of a mixed drink. We climbed in the pickup and headed to the first bar. At first I was having a lousy time. I was feeling bummed out about life, and everything with it. I had no money to buy drinks, so the girls bought them for me.

I didn’t start getting a buzz until the second bar, and by the third bar I was shit faced. I have no idea how I made it to the pickup, in and out of it. I have no idea what the fuck I drank, nor how much. Bits and pieces I still don’t remember, or they are very hazy.

I remember eventually drinking everyone else’s drink once mine was empty. I eventually started getting very grabby towards the girls, grabbing their asses and tits. I remember texting D all kinds of dirty and needy things. I don’t remember the ride home, but apparently I was very vocal about wanting to scissor the coworker that was with us. I sort of remember flashing them as they dropped us off. My roommate joined in. We think it was her idea.

I somehow made it in and out of the shower. When I got to bed I started posting pics and nasty things on Twitter. I remember having a sexy conversation with a mutual follower. I have no idea how the fuck I made it to work, I think I was still drunk. I am even more clueless on how I didn’t have a hangover.

This last weekend I didn’t get quite as fucked up, but I got close. It was just my roommate, her boyfriend, and I. I sent dirty texts to D, Brad, and a dirty guy I know. Brad was frustrated because he was at work, D was asleep. I got grabby with my roommate, and she started to get grabby with me.

When it came bedtime, who the fuck knows how I made it in and out of the shower. Once in bed, I started getting dirty on Twitter again. I managed a blog post, then passed out.

I guess I am smart enough to stay away from Facebook and my vanilla twitter. I also am careful to not send texts to the wrong person. Alcohol makes me horny. It also makes me gutsy. I love the idea of getting all kinds of pictures taken for this blog, but when I am sober it sounds like a terrible idea. When drinking, my roommate talk about doing a naughty photo shoot. It has yet to happen.


Posted in friends, growth, guys, horny, life, thoughts | 2 Comments